Friday, 26 April 2013


I had another topic on my mind this morning that I was going to write about, but that is going to have to wait for another time. As I was writing the post  I was going  through my most recent pictures, trying to find a few that represented the thoughts that I had regarding the topic I was writing about. And as I was doing this something really stood out to me. I realized that I had no bad pictures.

 Now this doesn't mean I am an amazing photographer and every photo I take is a winner. Hardly. But what it means is that in today's world we are able to just simply delete the bad photos. Years before, when we took pictures we would have to take out the roll of film from the camera and get the pictures developed. We would bring them home after picking them up from the store with excitement. We would then  flip through them and realize that out of the bunch of 24 pictures, there was probably one or two keepers. The rest went in a box. In our house the good ones would go on the fridge for a few months and then join the other pictures in a big box in the closet. I still have the box in the basement and every now and then we will haul it out and sort through them one by one laughing and remembering. And the best part of it all is the bad photos. The ones where you are making a bad face, or you weren't looking and someone caught you doing something funny.

It's funny that in today's world we can, at the touch of a button delete something. I realized today as I was scrolling through my photos on my computer, that there are very few pictures of myself. I have deleted them all. A whole section of my life is missing that I can't get back because I didn't like the way I looked in a picture. I hated my double chin, or I looked too fat. I feel I'm not photogenic therefore I don't like any pictures of myself, ever. But because of my own insecurities, in future years when my kids want to look back through pictures they aren't going to find many of their Mom, because they are all erased. Gone for good. Not a good thing.

All the semi good pictures are gone too. The ones that are slightly blurry, or eyes half closed. The photos that somehow get your thumb or finger in it when you take the shot, or someone was making a funny face when you were trying to get a really nice family portrait. And you know what? I really miss those pictures.

I got to thinking that  the world we live in today is just like my photos that I have now on my computer. We leave out all the bad stuff. When using social media like Facebook or Twitter we are able to post on an ongoing basis everything we are doing in our day to day lives. But very seldom, when we are glimpsing the lives of each other are we getting a clear and realistic portrait of what that life is really like. What we are posting or seeing or reading on social media for the most part are the good things. Vacations, big accomplishments or something funny that happened that day. We get to hear what we had for supper, or the new car we bought. But very seldom do we actually get to see in to the real stuff. The other side of real life.  There fore we paint an unrealistic picture of our lives that isn't accurate.

Now I'm not saying I want to go on to facebook and read about my friends fight she had with her husband, or about the pork roast she burnt last night. I don't think it should be a platform for negativity. I just think it's important to keep in mind that it's ok to have the bad stuff. We all do. And to remember that when we look at each other's photos of the perfect trip, or the amazing holiday, that the bad photos aren't included. What we didn't see were the arguments on the way to the airport or the kids throwing up in the toilet on the airplane. We weren't privy to the fact that the kids fought the whole way to Grandma's house in the car or that life that day was just not that great. We have to realize that life just isn't perfect. For anyone, anywhere.

We are surrounded these days with perfection. Television, movies, magazines and media. Perfect bodies, perfect teeth, perfect hair. We live in the digital age of air brushing. Plastic surgery is on the rise consistently year over year. We have lost the ability to recognize that it's ok to be real. To have the bad pictures, to not be perfect. To have bad days, and bad vacations. To have real boobs, wrinkles and gray hair. It's normal to have really bad days and to snap at your kids. I don't know about any of you, but have you ever had it happen where your kids are MOM! And you finally turn around and scream...."WHHHHHAAATTTTT?" And they look at you and say " I love you. " Yup, that's reality. And I love it, every little juicy bit of it. The good and the bad. And even though I'm still not going to post on facebook that my husband made me mad, or I feel like crap today, I am going to start hanging on to those not so great pictures. So that when I look back years from now we can smile and laugh and remember the good and the bad. Because that's what reality is.

That said everyone, I will not be posting for the weekend as I have some company coming and will hopefully have a new post on Monday. Enjoy your weekends everybody, take the good with the bad, and we will catch up next week.


  1. Exactly. We have little to no pictures of my Mom for the very same reason. Not only that but because of her aversion to having her photo taken we don't actually have photos for a huge chunk of my life. I am sad about that. Especially that Avery won't have pictures of Grandma or even me for a good period of my life. And, yes, everyone is all sunshine-y all the time even if it appears that way. I remind myself of that regularly. You're a good writer, Danielle. I am glad you started a blog. :)

  2. Thanks so much Karen. It's so great to read comments and see that others have similar experiences to my own. And I appreciate the kind words, they mean a lot.