Sunday, 7 April 2013


Today is a very special day. It's my baby girls ninth birthday. I honestly can't believe she is nine. Where did all the years go? It seems like just yesterday she was a little peanut in my belly and now she is all grown up.

When I found out I was having another baby, I was more than a little surprised. My husband and I had decided at the time we weren't going to have any more children, we already had two boys, and my youngest was 5 years old. So when I found out we were having one more I was more than a little nervous. My last labour had been really difficult, and my pregnancies were never easy. I experienced a lot of morning sickness, Gestational Diabetes and High Blood Pressure. But as the pregnancy progressed I became more and more excited. Another baby, how amazing.

As my tummy got bigger and grew, deep down inside I wished for a little girl. I had always wanted to have boys and girls, and I already had two boys. But I could hardly imagine it happening so I convinced myself I was having another boy.  And that would have been awesome too. I love my boys so very much. And we all know that above all else we just wish and hope for a healthy baby. But when the big day came, and the Dr. announced "It's a girl!" I had to ask her to repeat it twice. And when she placed that beautiful, perfect little girl in my arms, I fell in love. Again.

As a parent, we have an unlimited source of love. It is a love that just can't be explained. It is all encompassing. It is a love that is so beautiful and so terrifying all at the same time. I will never forget that first night with my brand new baby girl. It was a moment that will stay with me forever. The hospital was hushed as it is at around 4 am. The lights were dimmed as I stood at the window looking out over the dark parking lot. A little rain had fallen and the street lights were reflecting off the pavement. The world outside seemed so still and it felt as though her and I were the only ones that existed. I couldn't sleep even though hours before I had given birth. I was much too excited. I could hear her stirring in her bassinet, so I gently picked her up. I went back over to the window with her in my arms and we stood there together. She was gazing up at me, studying my face, and as I looked down at her, I was over joyed and overwhelmed with love. I could see our whole future together in that one moment.  Mother and daughter.

And now, nine years later, our journey is in full swing. She is my ray of sunshine, always smiling, always humming a tune or dancing though the house, my little ballerina. She is the girl that loves to turn the music up loud in the car, as we drive along, singing at the top of our lungs together. We fight, as Mom's and daughters do, and we share tears together as well. When she gets her feelings hurt at school, or by a friend, my heart breaks and cries right along with her. I wish I could protect her from all the bad things in this world, but I can't. I can only arm my daughter with knowledge, self confidence and positivity. I want her to know, that not only is she beautiful, but she is amazing, and intelligent, and unique, and she can do or be anything her heart desires.

Happy Birthday my baby girl. Mommy loves you more than you can ever know.

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