ENJOYING WINTER MOMENTS

Well we are coming up on the end of January and I can't believe how fast time is flying by. The fact that this winter has been a dream come true for me in the sense that it is snowing so much probably has a lot to do with it. I don't know why so many people feel the need to rush in to spring. Winter has so much beauty. And believe me, I personally am in no big hurry to move life along so quickly. I want to savor every moment in every season. Spring will be here soon enough and then we will be busy with gardening and mowing and all the busyness that spring time brings. Then we will long for the slower pace of those winter days, when all there was to do was go for a walk through the woods on a snowy afternoon where the silence of the powdery white snow brings a hush over everything. There is no quiet like that of the forest on a snowy day. I often stand still and listen, until I can hear the sound of the flakes falling to the ground. What immense peace these moments bring.

 

I always laugh to myself when people from other parts of the country feel sorry for us. They will be on the phone and say "Oh, it must be so awful, all that cold and snow." You can almost visualize the shudder as they can only imagine the immense suffering we must be enduring.The thing is, its not awful at all. It's amazing. Just as amazing as the first leaves in April or the smell of the grass after that first mow in May. I truly don't want to rush onward to any of that. It will come in due time. Life is so very short already. So winter, you can stay as long as you like, because I know before long it will be spring and then everyone will be hurrying and wishing for summer. Always rushing forward to the next thing, not taking the time to embrace the Now. Because if I have learned anything in this life, I've learned that there are no guarantees. There may not be a spring for me, or a next winter. There is only now, today. So what's the big hurry....let's hang around for awhile and turn our faces to the sky and feel the snow flakes melt on our eyelids. Or stand on the porch for a moment when its -15 and breathe in that crisp, clean cold air. You'll be glad you did.

 

 

 

THE SEED

I have one of those brains that moves a hundred miles an hour. I can be having a conversation and jump from one subject to the next in a millisecond and then not understand why people can’t keep up. In my mind I am always writing stories, having future conversations, thinking about what needs to be done, my calendar, groceries, cooking, cleaning, relationships and deep meaningful thoughts. And I do this in my mind almost simultaneously. Crazy, I know. I personally think it’s a Mom thing. As a Mother we have so much on our agendas that if we don’t think at warp speed, nothing would get done. But the thing is, a mind needs rest. So I am putting some effort  in to learning how to quiet my thoughts. My husband gave me the idea of The Sunflower Seed. He knows I love Sunflowers so it’s an appropriate symbol to choose. He placed the seed in my hand and told me to look at it. Concentrate on it. Push all other thoughts out except for the seed. So I did that. I stared at the seed. I started envisioning my glorious garden in summer, when the sunflowers tower above me reaching for the sky. And all my other thoughts died away except for that one. It wasn't long until the spell was broken, but I was able to clear out my thoughts for a moment. A great start. And now, when I start to feel stressed out, or I’m exhibiting signs of melt down extraordinaire, he just tells me to think of the sunflower seed. And I do, and it works. In fact the other day, I was feeling particularly overwhelmed. I felt him place something in my hand as we were walking along. I opened my palm and in it was a sunflower seed. It was a reminder. Calm my thoughts, take a deep breath and relax. He always knows just what I need.

 Having the partner that I do in life makes me feel so blessed. He is my best friend and confidant. He is my date on date nights and my other half.  He knows my thoughts and I know his. Each day I fall in love a little bit more and I know it’s the same way for him too. We are each other’s everything and I hope I don’t have to spend a single day on this planet without him here to share my journey.  What we share together as husband and wife I hope for everyone. Of course we have our bad moments just like everyone and some days I could scream at the top of my lungs he makes me so mad. But you see, no matter how mad I am at the moment, I know it will blow over like a summer thunder storm and we will be alright once again. Because that’s what two people in love do. You overcome the hurdles and learn from the mistakes. And let’s be honest, the making up part is always worth the thunder and the lightning.

CAPE FORCHU

I love lighthouses. They just make me happy. I always imagine what it must have been like to live in one. The seclusion, the wild storms and heroic rescues. Having lived on a couple of isolated islands myself I have had a taste of the lifestyle and I love it to this day.

We have our own lighthouse here in Yarmouth that I absolutely adore. We go out there at all times of the year to enjoy the spectacular scenery. I've been there in the height of summer, as the heat scorches down on the rocks, to the peak of a raging storm where the waves came crashing over the rocks to soak me through and through. Even the drive out there is a treat. You get to pass through a fishing port where the seagulls are as abundant as the lobster boats, and the barrels, ropes and fish shacks line the road. You then pass by two wonderful beaches which are great spots to picnic in the summer and beyond these beaches lies the end of the road where the tall red and white striped Cape Forchu Lighthouse stands tall against a stark blue sky.

The other day we decided to go out to the Lighthouse for a walk. It was crisp, cold, sunny and windy. The sky was blue, with large clouds piling up on the horizon. There was still snow on the ground left over from the previous blizzard and my husband and I held hands as we gazed out over the sea. It wasn't a calm day by any means and the waves reached far up the rocks as the tumultous seas splashed to and fro. I could't imagine being out in a lobster boat fishing these waters. We roamed the pathways and rocks and relished in the beauty around us.

We are so lucky to live in a place that is still so authentic. You can see the history all around you no matter where you look. There are no Monster Homes invading this little town. We are still small and hang on to some good things from the past. Change comes slowly to Yarmouth, and truly that's the way I like it.

The place where I grew up has lost that. There are highways and freeways, townhouses and condo complexes. The farms that used to be in abundance have made way for subdivisions. Traffic jams are the norm and pollution clogs the valley on hot summer days. Though still a beautiful place it is definetly not for us. We like country, we like quiet and above all we love nature. The raging sea or a calm clear day, the beauty that lies untouched by the hands of man is where I want to spend my time. It's how I feel when I walk in my woods and its how I feel when I roam the beaches that don't have a row of houses crowding the surfside. I don't want to look out over the waters and see sky scrapers and bridges in the distance. I want to see the open ocean and the glint of the sun reflecting off the windows of a fishing boat on the horizon. I want to walk a beach that hasn't been manicured, with the logs placed in position, crowded with people during the summer. I want natural. People often ask me, why Yarmouth. My answer, because Yarmouth is what Yarmouth was. An authentic fishing village perched on the edge of a magnificent province. It is a place filled with friendly people and dotted with communities that haven't changed much through the generations. I feel a part of history here and I'm thankful everday that my journey through life has brought me to this place. I'm also really thankful for my crazy, wandering personality that has given me the courage to try new things and places. I could never have been happy staying in one location my whole life. I'm much too restless for that and my soul longs for new things. Blessing and sometimes curse, it's what makes me who I am. And I'm truly blessed to have as a partner a free spirit who remains my most steadfast and willing adventure seeker. We are truly a match made in heaven.

HAPPY JANUARY

Well here we are January already and I haven't blogged in what seems like forever. I have been working a lot, having fun in between and most importantly, spending time with the ones I love the most. I really don't take time to blog when we are all home together. Our time is precious, so if you haven't seen a blog from me in awhile that's the reason why.

I know its only January and we have a long way to go before spring, but I am in Seed Catalogue heaven. Its a great way to pass the time and dream about longer and sunnier days. I'm encompassed with thoughts of new veggies to try out, the tried and true that work well year after year, and what kind of birds to order to complement my flock. While other girls dream of new clothes and trips abroad, my thoughts float with the sights and smells of my hands in the dirt, towering sunflowers above and picking beans while my chickens peck the ground. I find myself googling different breeds of goats and geese, and how to make my own cheese. I look on sites like Kijiji for tractors and livestock, while I know most of my peers are searching for furniture and good last minute deals on whatever. I can't help being a country girl at heart.

I am really appreciating all the things life is bringing me this coming year. Even though I need to be a working Mom for now, I know that I can balance my life out with the things I love. I love to garden, bake, cook, spend time with my husband and kids, camp, and walk in the woods. These are the things that fill me with so much joy and happiness. And right now, as the snow flies and the days end in darkness, I can look forward to not only all that is to come, but also immerse myself in the joys of now. The snow that fell. The blizzard we survived. The pizza we made during a power outage on a grill and finished off with a blow torch. Walks in the woods, the snow encrusted trees towering above me in their majestic silence. Birds at my feeder, puffed up to keep out the cold and the great people I call my friends.
 
I truly love this life and feel blessed to call this place home. I truly wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

HERE COMES THE NEW YEAR

Once again we are entering that time of year when we make our New Years Resolutions. Lose weight and excercise more are probably at the top of a lot of our lists. Of course I would love to be a little trimmer around the mid section, and I have already begun to excercise more than I have been in the past, but my resolutions are a little deeper and personal.

This year  I want to take care of my mind and my inner body. I want to concentrate on the things that make me happy and feed my soul. I am going to take more time to reflect on the things that bring joy to my life and explore why these things make me happy. I want to seek out and make any changes I can bring to my life that encourage more personal growth and satisfaction. I am going to do things that make me happy and try to weed out anything that doesn't. I want to work at resolving issues that have brought me distress, unhappiness and conflict and work towards becoming a healthier me, not only outside but more so from within.

Another thing I'm going to work at this coming year is alleviating myself of conflict that I have been carrying. I had some really hurt feelings this past year and after much reflection and inner searching I have come to the conclusion that it is easier said than done to forgive and forget. I think the forgiveness part is much easier than the forgetting. I was told once that if you can't forgive and forget the transgressions of the past your life is hampered and you become stuck in a rut and you can't find happiness. I actually don't completely agree with the analogy. I think we learn from the past to become more self protective. We also learn that when hurt by certain individuals we have to protect ourselves in the future. Much like a deep wound in the flesh. It will heal, but it also leaves a scar. And that scar constantly serves as a reminder to not do again, what caused the scar in the first place. So going forward I will be wary of things that have given me the invisible scars and protect myself so that it doesn't happen again. I'm sure there are so many of you out there that know exactly what I'm talking about. We can forgive and move on, but I don't agree that forgetting is always part of the healing. That's why we have history. For example, if we choose to forget about the attrocities that happened to the Jewish people in WWll, we would be committing a diservice to those that died. We can forgive, but we must never forget.

That said, I'm looking forward to the coming year and excited to embark on my inner journey.  I am entering it with my best friend and husband at my side, whom I grow closer to with each passing moment and my children who bring me joy and happiness.

Happy New Year everyone and here's to hoping you all find our own inner peace and strength.

KEEPING IT CHRISTMAS

I've been doing a lot of thinking about Christmas these days and how commercialised it has become. It feels so much different that when I was a kid. Now it seems to be all about presents, over spending and credit card bills in January. It has lost its magic. And by magic I don't mean Santa Claus.

You see, I'm a little different. I never believed in Santa Claus. My family is from European decent which means we opened presents on Christmas Eve together and went to Church on Christmas Day. We celebrated the true meaning of Christmas.

 Now I'm not here on my blog to preach or try to sway anyones religious beliefs. I don't do that, and I never will. We live in a free and diverse country where we are all able to practice our own beliefs and values, and that's what makes this nation great. We respect one another.  But for me personally I want the Christ back in Christmas.

Even early on in life I was always puzzled why people celebrated Christmas when they didn't believe in it. Why not get their own holiday I used to say. Why do they have to hijack ours? And hijacked it has become. Christmas has been over ridden with HO HO HO, and Santa Claus. There is an overabundance of presents and things we don't need, and people get stressed out trying to please every one and buy gifts for their bosses, neighbours, friends, kids and family. The amount of money that gets spent at this time of the year is astounding. The pressure to conform to this idocy is massive, and I just don't think its the way it should be. I don't want to buy a gift for my childrens teacher. ( Sorry teachers, I love you, but do you really need one more mug or candle that says #1 Teacher? )And I just don't want to send out 50 Christmas Cards to people. I don't have time and I find myself getting more and more resentful as my hand gets cramped trying to find something witty and personal to say in every card. So I've tossed the Christmas card tradition. Bah Humbug.

Now I'm not trying to be a scrooge, that's not what I mean, but I want the old fashioned Christmas this year. I want it to be about food, family and the real reason we celebrate.The birth of Jesus Christ. CHRISTmas. I have explained to my kids that this year, we are toning it down. We are reverting back to what it means to celebrate this very important day. We are celebrating a Birth. And that means its a joyous occasion. Of course there will still be presents, it is a birthday party. But it isn't going to be centered around the gifts. Our focus is going to be about being together as a family.

I have 3 favorite Christmas shows. Charlie Brown, How the Grinch Stole Christmas and Its a Wonderful Life. Each of these classics have a very important message to share. But I think Dr Suess says it best, when the Grinch, after stealing all the presents, the decorations and even the Roast Beast awakens to find the Who's down in Whoville singing on Christmas morning. It goes something like this......

And the Grinch, with his grinch feet ice-cold in the snow
Stood puzzling and puzzling, How could it be so

It came without ribbons, it came without tags!
It came without packages, boxes or bags!

He puzzled and puzzed till his puzzler was sore
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before

Why maybe, he thougth, it doesn't come from a store
Maybe Christmas perhaps, means a little bit more.

Well said, Mr Grinch, well said.

SUMMER TO WINTER

THESE ARE THE SAME SUNFLOWERS

                                                            
                                                       JUST A FEW MONTHS APART

I've mentioned before how much I love the 4 seasons. It fascinates me how quickly things grow only to die off, or become dormant for winter. From the glorious greens of spring to the peak of summer flowers, to the Autumn Harvest, and then winters white blanket, the four seasons show us life.

When I was in the yard yesterday I snapped a picture of the sunflowers of summer. Their majestic heads were bowed as if in defeat, their lives ended, only a shell remaining. I thought back to the heat of summer when their awesome heads rose proud toward the sun as I stood beneath their towering beauty and how quickly it went from that to this. Like life. It speeds by as if in a moment. There is no stopping the progression of time, so even though we are caught up in the pursuits of working, making money, buying things and surviving, we need to watch natures reminders that all these things are fleeting.

Relishing in the snow fall yesterday, I watched my dog as he raced through the snow. He was chasing snowballs and leaping through snow banks. He was in pure bliss. Even my old dog Barley took the time to push through the snow, though it took its toll on the old boy. I'm sure for him it was worth it. But to watch my dog, just enjoying the moment with pure abandon, made me think that we don't do that enough in our own lives. We are all so caught up in the rat race that just doing something for the sake of doing it, gets pushed in the background. So I decided to join him. We ran around in the snow. I made snow angels, and hit the sled a few times with my daughter. We went on a beautiful walk through the woods and stopped and appreciated all the finer details that were there for our enjoyment. The forest presented us with its beautiful artwork, that no man's hand can create. We were treated to the angry chatter of squirrels as we passed by, themselves busy with the process of getting themselves ready for the long winter ahead.

 It absolutely takes my breath away to be able to be a part of the progression of life. When my own body, like the sunflower, is bent and old and just a shell, I hope I can reflect back on a life that held meaning, adventure and a bucket full of special moments. Nature has endless things to teach us. We just need to watch and listen and enjoy the now. Because that's all we have.