Thursday, 14 November 2013


Well I suppose my transitioning in to part time working Mom is a little more difficult than I had first imagined. I have been trying to be everything all at once, and maintain the standards that I had for myself when I wasn't employed, and continue everything now that I am working outside the home. Lesson learned is that it's impossible. I am getting more weary by the day, and I realized I am starting to lose sight of what I want my life to be all about.

I think achieving the work life balance is very important. But it is something extremely difficult to achieve. As I was coming up my front walkway a few evenings ago, I noticed a single rose was still blooming.

And what made me sad about it, is that I haven't had time to appreciate all the changes that have been going on around me the last few weeks. We have gone from the brilliant colors of autumn to the bare bones of winter and frost and I haven't had a chance to take it all in.

I have put the importance of being the perfect wife and mother before what it really means to live. I once saw on a friends facebook a little saying that they have hung in their home. It said " Excuse the messy house, we live here. " And you know what? It's true. We do live here. All five of us plus 2 dogs and a cat. And that means there will be dirt at the front door, and dishes in the sink, and laundry here and there. I have been putting all the pressure on myself to make sure all is running smoothly. I have a hard time accepting help in the house if it isn't done to my standards. And that just isn't right.

So I am trying to teach myself that it isn't a reflection on me personally if the bed isn't made or the laundry isn't done. It's more important that I have those moments with my kids. Smelling the roses, playing with our rabbits, or going for a walk on a crisp November day with my husband as the sun reflects over a quiet lake as evening sets in.

Last Sunday my husband and I decided to drop all the chores that needed to be done and hit the road for awhile. We got ourselves lost on the dirt roads of Meteghan and just enjoyed the wonderful scenery and peace that abounds in the backwoods. We came across the remains of an old sawmill and the village that was once there, disappearing in to the landscape.

It serves as a reminder that what is once there, will not always be. Time ticks along methodically until that moment when the clock stops for you or I. We need to remember to stop and smell the roses. We need to take the time to notice the minute details and beauty that nature has to offer instead of running on the treadmill of life to achieve a purpose that is empty and devoid of any true blissful happiness. The reality is, I need to work so that we have enough money to survive. But I don't need to set unrealistic standards for myself that can not be met and will only bring with it feelings of regret and ineptitude.

I love life and I love nature. I love my husband and I love my kids. Those are my priorities and those are my reason for being. And most of all, those are the things that bring me my own personal bliss.

So going forward, my house is going to be messier than it once was. Once in awhile, we will eat Mac and Cheese for supper, and Horror of Horrors, the bed may not be made. But I will be happy because I have gone and spent a few extra hours outdoors with my kids, finding the beauty of the forest, and appreciating the time we have together.

1 comment:

  1. I typed a whole comment and then it went poof :) Okay, here it is again (a little shorter). I'm sorry that you have been struggling with going back to work. My mother had the same feelings when she went back to work when I was in second grade. She eventually loved working and I loved that she was happy. I think we as women put too high of expectations on ourselves to be the perfect wife/mother and then feel guilty when we don't live up to our own expectations. I'm sure everything will settle into place soon. I hope the transition goes smoothly, it sounds like you are already on the right track :)