PICNIC FOR SUPPER

Tonight we decided to have our supper at a local park. It was such a beautiful day and it seemed a waste to spend it at home. After having a somewhat rough weekend, I decided just the thing was to head out, food in the cooler, kick boards and water noodles in the trunk and head down to the local lake. As soon as we pulled in, we jettisoned everything from the car and set up at the picnic table. Then it was into the water for a refreshing swim. What a rejuvenation it is to cool off in the water, then relax and enjoy some wonderful food.

I feel very blessed to live in a place that has so many wonderful swimming lakes and beaches for our enjoyment. The mere sound of water lapping against the shoreline fills my soul with peace and tranquility. My kids splashing around in the water, giggling and laughing with happiness fills my heart with joy, and makes everything well again. I constantly learn the lesson that being in nature brings everything around and whole again, no matter how hard some times might be, are how bad a day may get. Trees, sun, water and fresh air somehow cleanse the body.

So after our fun evening at the lake we finished it off with a walk that began with this sign at the head of the trail. I really couldn't have said it better myself.

HALIFAX AND BACK

So it has been a few days since I have written. I needed to go to Halifax, NS for a last minute appointment and forgot my trusty lap top. While there we had a lovely visit with wonderful friends, and then came home to a yard full of chores that have been put on the back burner due to the rainy season we have had. The weather is lovely now, and suddenly there are a thousand beans to pick, weeds to pull, lawns to mow and gardens to spruce up.

Anyhow, enough whining about all the things I had to do this weekend. As always, I enjoy the outdoors and we did fit in some time to relax in the gazebo and maybe have a sip or two of wine.

Now, I always enjoy my trips to Halifax. Its about a 3.5 hour drive from my home and there are lots of wonderful places to stop along the way. There is Shelburne, Lunenburg, Liverpool, Chester, Bridgewater and Mahone Bay to name a few. All quaint, beautiful locations that one could spend a whole day exploring. This time however it was straight to the city. After getting the appointment out of the way, we enjoyed a leisurely lunch and then made our way to the Public Gardens in the city. It is truly a beautiful park, with fountains, flowers, old trees, some geese, ponds and many benches to rest a while. The Public Gardens attracts people from all over the world, and it was nice to see everyone enjoying the amazing weather. There were those on their lunch break, those on tour groups, joggers, couples and Mom's with their little ones feeding the ducks. It truly is a place to find a little bit of peace in a hectic world.

The thing I love about Halifax is it's energy and feel. It is a friendly city, full of tree lined streets that shade us from the afternoon sun. It is a place that has held on to its past, and there are rows on rows of century homes in a myriad of colors.

I always have so much fun when I visit this city, and this time was no exception. If you ever have the chance to visit this special city, make sure you take a couple of days to explore. It has so much to offer, you won't be disappointed. Except maybe when its minus ten with a wind chill of minus 25, and snow. But even then, I have been know to have a grand old time.

THINKING ABOUT MARRIAGE

This weekend my niece is getting married. She is a beautiful, amazing and intelligent girl ( well she's a woman but she will always be a girl to me ) and she is walking down the isle on Saturday to begin a new life with the man she loves. Because I live so far away, and we are on an extremely fixed income, I can not attend her very special day, and as very difficult that this may be, she knows that I am there in thought and spirit as she embarks on this new and special chapter of her life and how very much I love her.

It astounds me how fast life goes. I remember when she was just little, and I used to babysit her and her brother while my sister and her husband were at work. She was such an adorable little girl with long dark hair and a rascal smile, and to this day that smile is infectious, as is her laughter. When she starts laughing, you can't help but join right in. And to think that on Saturday, she will be saying her vows, and facing a life with her new husband. It really seems like only yesterday she was carving her initials in to her Mom and Dad's antique bureau while I was supposed to be watching her. And when I caught her, and my heart was beating a hundred miles an hour, thinking that her Dad would probably find countless ways to murder me and do away with the body, she gave me that glowing, what did I do smile.

So as an Auntie, what advice would I give to her on Saturday before she faces that walk down the isle to her new love? Well, this is what I would tell her......

Love like there is no tomorrow. We only have today, and its better to love with all your heart than to hold anything back.

Be yourself. Have your own thoughts, opinions and convictions. If he loves you, he will admire this in you. He will never want to hold you back from being everything you can be and more.

Trust. This can be a hard one. But trust is the foundation to every relationship. Unless there is a reason not to, trust will see you through.

Let yourself be loved. Let him be your soul mate, your best friend, your lover and your caregiver. Never feel guilty for these things. You feel that way for him, he feels the same for you.

Love yourself. No one can love you unconditionally until you love yourself. Remind yourself that he chose you because of how amazing you are. Remember that you are an intelligent, beautiful, funny and gracious woman who has so much warmth and an amazing heart. Remember this about yourself always.

Don't let others bring you down. Unfortunately in life, there will always be those that try and hurt those that they feel are better than they. Keep these people far away. Negativity only breeds negativity. Surround yourself with only those that bring positivity and joy in to your lives, and that are truly happy for you and your success every step of the way. These are the same people that will also be there when the chips are down.

Be one another's best friend.

Don't go to bed angry.

Always share your feelings. Never keep something inside. It will only fester and grow. Getting it out in the open allows for discussion. Sure you may not agree with one another, but at least you will know where the other stands.

Don't keep secrets.

Don't try to control one another. It only breeds resentment. Marriage is a partnership. You want the best for one another. Controlling someone only undermines the bond of two.

Hold hands, and kiss each other good morning and good night every single day.

And most importantly, always remember your Auntie is here for you. No matter what time, or where you are,  I am here for you always and may God bless you on your beautiful day.

BLUEBERRIES

Well the blueberries are in full swing. Huge, amazing and the only thing in my garden right now that is worth mentioning. It has been a somewhat wet and humid summer. Days filled with high temperatures, humid conditions and nothing resembling the perfect growing medium. That said, the beans, Brussels sprouts and carrots are doing amazing....who knows what will work and what won't.

Blueberries have to be one of my favorites though. These days, I wander out in the morning and pick some to put in my cereal, or to make muffins, or a pie. Even though everything else is going sideways, as gardening goes sometimes, the tried and true shine through and give one hope. Life isn't always perfect, and neither is gardening. It's a good lesson. We always think things will go our way, or life will be perfect, and then it throws us a curve ball. And the only thing we can do is deal with it. Accept it and move on, and enjoy whatever is out there. It may not be exactly what we wanted, but sometimes it turns out even better.

MY PARENTS

Unfortunately my parents live on the opposite side of this big country of Canada. They live on the West Coast and I live on the East. It is a 6.5 hour flight and a 3.5 hour drive to come and visit. But each year they make the long journey to come see their daughter and son and grand kids ( not son in-law, my Mom and Dad have made it very clear my husband is considered no less than their flesh and blood son  ) Now it is no fault of theirs that we live so far apart, I'm the one that moved away, but I miss them so much everyday. It's funny in life how sometimes you don't appreciate what you have until its gone. I mean, I've always appreciated them, they are wonderful parents, but not having them around on a day to day basis is far more difficult than I anticipated it to be. That said, I talk to my Mom everyday on the phone without fail, and there is always something new to talk about. ( I talk to my sister every day too, but that's another story for another blog ) Gosh its a wonder I get anything done in a day.

Anyways, my Mom and Dad are the best parents a girl could ask for. They have been a wonderful example of how a parent should be and I have never felt less than their number one priority. They have four children, and they love each and every one of us immensely. I always know, that no matter what happens in my life, good or bad, they are there for me. Not once have they ever turned away.

I have been reminiscing a lot lately about growing up, my teenage years and all that my parents have done for me. Truly I wouldn't be where I am, or who I am, without them. And I also know that not every one is as lucky as I have been to have the gift of parents that I've been given. And my way of showing my appreciation for the life they have given me, is to try and be as good a parent to my kids as they have been to me.

When I look back to when I was young I realize now, as a parent myself, how much energy they invested in to their family. They both worked, and yet every night there was a warm, home cooked meal on the table. My father was home every night and every weekend. He never went out with the boys, he never took time to himself, we were his priority. My Mom was the same. If she wasn't working, she was home. There were no girls weekends away, or girls night out. She was present 100 percent of the time. To me then, I didn't think this was that big of a deal. I thought every one's life was like that. My friends parents were that way so it didn't really cross my mind that other peoples lives were different. But in my home, family is what was most important. Nothing else mattered. And even though in the beginning it was a struggle to make ends meet, they worked hard, and always made sure we were well dressed, fed and most importantly loved.

Now when I look at myself as a Mom, I realize I am following the example they have given me. And when I see my siblings, it is the same for them. Their kids are their number one, and everything else comes second. Someone once asked me if I didn't feel like I was sacrificing my own happiness for my kids. I was dumbfounded. Sacrifice? My kids are my joy, my happiness. I love being a Mom. And I know my husband loves being a Dad. And I hope that one day, when my kids grow up, move out, or move away, I will continue to have the relationship with them that I have today. I hope that the way they remember me is the way I remember my parents.

My Mom and Dad have been there for me every step of the way. They made sure when I became a young Mom that I still got an education. They took care of my husband and I in every way they could, even sacrificing their own time so I could go to college, while they took care of our baby. They gave me a wonderful, safe loving environment to grow up in. We had a feeling of family, and we are a strong unit as a family even today. Sure we all have our fights. We have sibling rivalry, and we can see the world differently at times. But when it counts, we come together, strong and fast.

I don't know what made me write this today. Maybe it's my appreciation that we still all have one another, for how long we don't know. But I know that when I talk to my Mom today, I'm going to thank her for all she's done for me. I'm going to thank my Dad for every day he walked to the bus and commuted an hour to and from the city to put food on the table. I'm going to thank them for all they've done to make me not only the woman I am today, but how they helped shape a family. My family. I love you Mom and Dad, with every piece of my heart. See you in a couple months.

AND THE DUCK CAME BACK

So the other morning I was going about my usual routine in the yard which begins with feeding and letting the chickens out for the day. Now that my veggie garden is established, and there are no little sprouts to eat, they are once again free to roam.

On my way to the coop I spotted a very delightful sight. A duck. And not just any duck. My duck. I had to contain myself so as not to scare him/her away, but I slowly made my way over. The duck stood there patiently waiting, as if to say, "what the heck took you so long, I've been waiting for my breakfast!" So I went in to the barn and threw out some seed and then went back to retrieve my camera from the house, terrified the entire time it would fly away again. But when I returned the duck was still there, eating up a storm.

When he finished eating, he waddled on down to the pond for a swim and a drink as if he never left. I couldn't believe it. And he has been back every day. He eats, swims, waddles around with the chickens for awhile and then takes off again to where ever he must go. I'm glad he remembered us. I'm glad he has come back to pay us a visit. And I'm so glad he is still alive. I hope he goes and tells all his duck friends to come on over to our place. The feed is good, the pond is full and there are other feathered friends to visit with. Mr or Mrs Duck? You are always welcome at our place.

LONELINESS

Today I'm going to visit with someone who is quickly becoming very dear to me. He is a gentleman in the community that was born in 1920. He grew up when Yarmouth still had dirt roads, the train still came to town, and Yarmouth was prosperous. He has seen many changes through out his 93 years, and it has become a joy to sit and listen to all the things he has to tell me. Because I am bound by confidentiality I can't tell you his real name, but lets call him Ernie.

Ernie was a child of 8. His mother died when he was very young, and he has no memory of her. His father was left to raise all 8 children alone in a small community outside of Yarmouth. His first car was a Model A Ford, and as he proudly states, he paid $75 bucks for it!

Ernie got married very young as folks did then, and worked extremely hard his entire life. He lives in the same house his wife grew up in, and as he always tells me, he never owed anybody anything. I ask him his reflections on the life he has had. About the way things were, how they are now, and what he thinks about our generation today. He feels that in todays time, people are living beyond their means. They borrow money for things they want today, instead of the old fashioned way of saving up until you can afford it. He thinks we are a generation trapped on a wheel, always chasing to pay the debt to the bank. He shakes his head as he tells me this.

Ernie also loves to tell me about his wife, and shows me his wedding photo, two young people in Black and White staring out in to the world and the life ahead. He will pull out his wedding ring, worn and thin by time, which doesn't fit on his arthritic fingers any more. But as he unwraps it slowly from the tissue, he lovingly runs his finger over it before showing me. Proud of his years of marriage to the woman he loves. She's in a home now and doesn't recognize her surroundings most days.  Ernie misses her, and when she remembers, she misses Ernie.

You see the thing with Ernie is that everyone is gone now. All his siblings and their spouses have died. Their children have grown and moved away, and Ernie has no one of his own. He is all alone. Each day he gets up in the morning and faces the long day ahead with no one to visit with, no one to talk to, and unable to go out. The nurse will come a few times a week, the cleaning lady, and me, the volunteer.

Once a week I go visit Ernie and sit and chat awhile. Sure he tells me the same stories every week, and shows me the same pictures. He may even tell me the same story the same day. But when I show up, and I see him sitting in his chair waiting for me, my heart breaks. When I have to leave him, and drive away to my own life, full of activity and kids and husband, I cry every time.

The loneliness and isolation that exists for so many of our seniors out there is heart wrenching. They have no families, they have no one. They aren't sick enough to be put in to a home ( not that this is any better at times ) so they live in a world of extreme loneliness. Ernie tells me this all the time. He says his days are so very long. He doesn't enjoy today's television shows, and reading isn't an option. So there are no distractions.

And the thing is, Ernie isn't an isolated case. In fact, when I first signed up to volunteer, they told me their list is so long, that many people pass away before they even get a volunteer to visit.

I guess the reason I'm writing this today is not only to share my feelings with you about my Ernie, but in hopes that if you have even a spare hour in your week, to consider using it to visit with someone that needs it. You don't have to do much but listen. They just want to talk and have human contact. Something to look forward to in their day. I guarantee you, the rewards are ten fold.

And I'm not saying I'm some great amazing person that takes the time to be with others. Some times I don't even feel like going. But once I'm there, and visiting, and see his smile and his eyes light up telling me a story about taking the Model A Ford up the line and bouncing through the pot holes, his girl by his side, I feel happy inside. I settle in to the rocking chair, against the afghan his wife crocheted years ago and take it all in. Because you see, I need Ernie as much as he needs me. I get to go out and leave my problems and responsibilities for a little while, and take a trip back in time. And to me, its worth every moment.