CHERISHABLE MOMENT

Yesterday was an another amazing day for me. Something very special happened. My husband and I were home together, with no kids. Now I know this may not seem like a huge deal to all of you out there, but to us, its golden. You see, we are never ever alone together in the house. EVER. There is always one or more kids around. We don't mind it, we love it that way, but we didn't realize, until yesterday, how amazing it is to have the house to ourselves. As we bid the little darlings farewell as they trudged off to the school bus, we were grinning like a couple of kids. We leaped back in to bed and slept until 11. We made the most amazing omelets when we got up, filled with all the stuff that kids hate, like tomatoes and basil and feta cheese. Heck I even threw in a Kalamata Olive and some Capers just because I could.

Time alone together as Husband and Wife is normally something we have to leave the house to enjoy. It's usually dinner out, or a couple of days away. But staying home, alone, is a treasure that doesn't come around very often. And as our children grow older, I know that these days will become more frequent until one day, its just He and I again. But for now, I will treasure the special days, where for a short time I felt like a kid again, when I was left home alone for the first time. Pure fun, and satisfaction and a day I won't forget any time soon.

WINTER IS ON THE WAY

Well, I am officially in the Christmas spirit. The snow was falling yesterday, the air was crisp, cold and dry, and we finished decorating the house. I had my Christmas scented candles burning as Jimmy Rankin's Tinsel Town blasted from the stereo. In the afternoon, I ventured out in to the woods to get some greenery for my Centrepiece on the Dining Room table and I was awed by the beauty as I stood silently in the woods as the snow blew around me. I could see fresh deer tracks as I made my way through the trails and it felt so wonderful being out there and part of the wonderful world around me.

I love the preparation for Christmas. The coziness of the fire burning as the wind and snow howl around the house, makes me feel so safe and secure. Every season in Nova Scotia has its beauty and wonder, and as Winter approaches my excitement rises at the prospect of walks after a fresh snowfall, sledding by flashlight under a cold starry night, and freezing hands wrapped around a steaming mug of hot chocolate. There truly is nothing as satisfying as that.

Last night as we sat admiring the tree as the candles flickered in the darkness I felt an extreme contentedness envelope me. My love of my husband and children, as I listened to them laugh and joke with one another, filled my soul with gladness. I truly am a very lucky woman to be able to have these times with my family.

Later on, I listened as each of my kids spent time on the phone with their Oma ( my Mom ) and it warmed my heart to hear them enjoy talking with her. It made my night complete. Because even though my parents are far away, the distance is made shorter by the relationship and bond they have with them. Yes, yesterday was truly the perfect day.

WHAT'S IMPORTANT

The other day I was having my weekly visit with my friend Ernie. And as I have noted here before, he has a tremendous amount of knowledge to share with me. It's not only the things like what natural fertilizers to use on my garden or how to get rid of a pesky porcupine, but its the lessons in life that are the greatest gifts he is giving me.

We were sitting in his house ( which is over 100 years old ) and basking in the warmth of the fire in the old McClary Stove. As I sat fixing his glasses, he talked to me about Cars. Ernie loves cars and can go on for a long time about what makes one better than the other and so on and so forth. He then said to me that he never once had a new car. He told me people would sometimes pester him and say, "Ernie, why don't you buy yourself a new car? Don't you want something nice?" I asked him what he thought and felt when people had asked him this question. And he smiled. He said, "Well, I just let them know that nothing stays new forever, and that I hoped they enjoyed making their payments on their "new car" while I owned mine. I've never had much in life, but I never owed anyone anything either."

I think life has changed a lot over the last generation. I sometimes say I was born in the wrong time because a lot of the things that seem to be important in life don't matter to me. I don't care for fancy, I don't care about name brands and I really don't care if some one has a nicer car or house than I do. I just want every one to be happy. Money just doesn't impress me. It often makes me sad when I see people worship the rich and the famous. What makes them think that just because they have money and fame they have earned that attention. Or even want it for that matter. Can you imagine never being able to go out in public without knowing some one might recognize you. Can you imagine what it must be like to not really know if friends are true friends or they are just there for your wealth, or what they can do for you?

I'll tell you a story about the time I met Bill Gates. Now here's a guy who has wealth. Not just money, but WEALTH. I met him at a Marina in British Columbia. My husband, kids and I were caretaking a small island there that was owned by an American. It was one of many islands in the area that were privately owned, and most used the Marina where we also went in an out of on our daily commute to and from town and school for the kids. I had just recently had a baby and I was coming back from the Public Health nurse, where my little girl had gotten her immunization. I had my hands full with the baby in the car seat, diaper bag and some grocery bags as I was trying to manoeuvre myself in to the boat to go home. As I was doing this, one of the crew boats from the neighbouring island pulled in to the slip beside me. The owner and another gentleman hopped out and tied up the boat. When they saw me, they walked up and offered to help. My neighbour introduced me to his friend "Bill" and asked if they could hold the baby. Of course I was more than happy to turf the baby while I loaded up the boat with stuff, and I smiled and made small talk with "Bill" who seemed to have a puzzled look on his face at first, but then was genuinely full of smiles and was busy entertaining the baby. He asked me about how I was feeling, and how it was quite an accomplishment to be able to manage a baby and a boat. He told me he thought it was "quite something."I smiled back, as he handed me my daughter and I took off in my boat homeward bound.

When I returned back to the island I noticed a plane floating at the dock across the bay on the neighbouring Island. Hmmmm, I thought, the neighbours have company. As I walked up to the house my husband and the Assistant Caretaker rushed up to me excitedly telling me Bill Gates had flown in that very morning. I groaned, as I realized who Bill at the Marina was. But then I realized something else. I understood his quizzical look and then his undeniable delight in the fact that I had absolutely no idea on earth who he was. He was able for that moment in time, to be completely genuine as I treated him just like I would anyone else. With kindness, happiness and no false persona. You see, no matter how much money one has, whether it be a lot or a little, we really all just want one thing. And that's genuine respect. No false pretences. And that's how life should be. We shouldn't measure someone's worth by what their house looks like or what car they drive or if their coat is a Columbia, North Face or from the neighbourhood Thrift Store. Our worth should be measured by our kindness, our deeds and our uniqueness. Does Bill Gates remember me? I 100 percent doubt it. But I remember him and the lesson he taught me, without ever knowing he did. He showed the real him. All because I was unimpressed with who he was and what he was. A very cool thing indeed.

BEING THE PERFECT MOM

Well I suppose my transitioning in to part time working Mom is a little more difficult than I had first imagined. I have been trying to be everything all at once, and maintain the standards that I had for myself when I wasn't employed, and continue everything now that I am working outside the home. Lesson learned is that it's impossible. I am getting more weary by the day, and I realized I am starting to lose sight of what I want my life to be all about.

I think achieving the work life balance is very important. But it is something extremely difficult to achieve. As I was coming up my front walkway a few evenings ago, I noticed a single rose was still blooming.

And what made me sad about it, is that I haven't had time to appreciate all the changes that have been going on around me the last few weeks. We have gone from the brilliant colors of autumn to the bare bones of winter and frost and I haven't had a chance to take it all in.

I have put the importance of being the perfect wife and mother before what it really means to live. I once saw on a friends facebook a little saying that they have hung in their home. It said " Excuse the messy house, we live here. " And you know what? It's true. We do live here. All five of us plus 2 dogs and a cat. And that means there will be dirt at the front door, and dishes in the sink, and laundry here and there. I have been putting all the pressure on myself to make sure all is running smoothly. I have a hard time accepting help in the house if it isn't done to my standards. And that just isn't right.

So I am trying to teach myself that it isn't a reflection on me personally if the bed isn't made or the laundry isn't done. It's more important that I have those moments with my kids. Smelling the roses, playing with our rabbits, or going for a walk on a crisp November day with my husband as the sun reflects over a quiet lake as evening sets in.

Last Sunday my husband and I decided to drop all the chores that needed to be done and hit the road for awhile. We got ourselves lost on the dirt roads of Meteghan and just enjoyed the wonderful scenery and peace that abounds in the backwoods. We came across the remains of an old sawmill and the village that was once there, disappearing in to the landscape.

 

It serves as a reminder that what is once there, will not always be. Time ticks along methodically until that moment when the clock stops for you or I. We need to remember to stop and smell the roses. We need to take the time to notice the minute details and beauty that nature has to offer instead of running on the treadmill of life to achieve a purpose that is empty and devoid of any true blissful happiness. The reality is, I need to work so that we have enough money to survive. But I don't need to set unrealistic standards for myself that can not be met and will only bring with it feelings of regret and ineptitude.

I love life and I love nature. I love my husband and I love my kids. Those are my priorities and those are my reason for being. And most of all, those are the things that bring me my own personal bliss.

So going forward, my house is going to be messier than it once was. Once in awhile, we will eat Mac and Cheese for supper, and Horror of Horrors, the bed may not be made. But I will be happy because I have gone and spent a few extra hours outdoors with my kids, finding the beauty of the forest, and appreciating the time we have together.

LET THE LIGHT SHINE THROUGH

My life has been somewhat crazy the last little while. I have been adjusting to a new schedule that has me feeling somewhat exhausted a lot of the time. Being a working Mom is not easy, especially when the family has gotten used to me running the household and the yard all on my own this past 2 years. That said, things are slowly adjusting and we are getting in to a new routine that is starting to work for all of us. I'm hoping that my ability to be able to find quiet time for my writing will find its way back up my priority list. After finding my writing voice again, it has brought me so much pleasure, and my hopes are that I can continue on writing and finding the joy and fulfillment that it has brought me so far.

Something that has been keeping me grounded through my Stay at Home Mom to working Mom transition is the beauty that surrounds me when I come home at the end of the day. The way the light shines through the trees and the immense beauty of the leaves as they have reached the end of their amazing fall display induces a feeling of peace and also inspiration in my life.

 

 

 You see, sometimes in life things can get hard. There can be a shadow or a dark cloud that passes over your day that blocks the light from coming through. Storms can descend on life and it feels as if everything is being blown in different directions as the chaos ensues. But there is always the calm after the storm. The moment when the sky opens up and the light shines through bringing with it the peace and tranquility that we all need. This is what my little piece of heaven does for me. When I take a breath at the end of the day, and stand in the yard and allow all its beauty and wonder to seep in to my soul for a moment., I feel that light shine through me. And it makes me feel whole once again.