Friday, 22 January 2016


I am going to deconstruct the above subject line by defining each word individually.

The definition of Being is "the nature or essence of a person."
The definition of Free is "not under the control or in the power of another; able to act or be done as one wishes."
The definition of In is "used to indicate that someone or something belongs to or is included as part of something
The definition of Nature is "the phenomena of the physical world collectively, including plants, animals, the landscape, and other features and products of the earth, as opposed to humans or human creations"

If I connect all this together the subject line means this. That the very essence of myself as a person wishes to belong to, or be a part of a phenomena that includes plants, animals the landscape and other features of the earth, while not under the control or power of another and be able to act as I so wish. Isn't that compelling? This is what I yearn to be and how to live.

As I sit here typing, my house empty but for myself and my two dogs, I am humbled to witness the beauty of nature outside my window. I sit next to a crackling fire that is burning wood from the very forest that not only provides us with the beauty that surrounds our home but also with much needed warmth and comfort inside. The sun has risen above the leafless hardwoods, and soft snowflakes fall from a blue sky, punctuated with the grey heavy clouds laden with snow. The wind is howling around the corners of the house, picking up the soft snow, as light as sand and whips into all the corners and crevices, creating drifts like the dunes on the beach. Large icicles dangle from the rooftop, lengthening as the sun melts the ice and the wind freezes again its drips and drops and creates a beautiful artistic rendition of water turned in to a mosaic of reflective color, clearness and depth.

As I see all this through glass, my heart leaps in to an excitement and a longing. I know that after I finish this post I will pull on my snow pants, don my toque and jacket, lace up my boots and head out in to the woods for a much needed dose of nature. My dogs will frolic through the snow, their joy of the outdoors mimicking my own. Free for a time.

My sense of freedom is fleeting, as I, like most of us have many responsibilities. Work, school, activities, all which can drive us away from nature and in to a world that may not be suitable or comfortable. For me, the more I am driven indoors, in to an office world, the more unhappy I become. My thoughts drift to the frozen lake at the cabin, or the lonely beach my husband and I hiked a few weeks ago in a snow storm. I think of the trails through the woods, or the birds that may be visiting my feeder. When I return late in the day, the evidence exists of a busy day for the birds. The empty feeders and hundreds of tiny footprints beneath it in the snow show the tale. Did the cardinal couple return that day? The doves? Before I leave for work in the morning, just as the light begins to turn the darkness in to shadows, I can see the flittering of chickadees, darting to and fro and I long to sit by my window, cup of tea in hand and watch the shadows turn to the grey light of morning, then see the orange ball of the sun begin to peak through the trees and rise up to the sky.

Stormy secluded beach in winter. Just my husband and I. Picnicked behind a huge rock out of the wind. Heaven!

The infinite beauty of ice

Skeleton of a leaf on rock. A reminder that life is delicate

This is what defines me. Not my house, money or things, just a pack sack and a thermos.

How does one balance the life that beckons inside to the one that we are required by society to pursue? As I grow older I find myself noticing more and more what has become important to me and what isn't. Money, houses, cars, clothes, these things have always been just a necessity to me. Things do not define me or my self worth. I long only to live in a small cabin, surrounded by forest and water, where I can BE FREE IN NATURE. I have attained that lifestyle before to a degree, but yet was not free, so I will continue my quest to find the answer to the longing that resides inside myself. But for now, I will take the moments that I can. Hike the beautiful trails and beaches of Nova Scotia, stand alone in the woods, where it can be so quiet,  you can hear the snow touch the ground as it falls softly from the sky. Life is good, life is short, and I will work to try and "be" in nature at every opportunity.

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